Jose Reyes, Current Met Phenom

Reyes is the Mets' most exciting player, but he sometimes makes bad choices


Senor Stands Alot (get it? He doesn't run out hits, he just stands there!)
Professor Jose

Carlos Gomez, rushed to big-leagues future star OF, now current Minnesota Twin

the Bat Sniffer
Jay-Z
Mini-Endy
Johan-bait

Tom Glavine, former Met, 2007 Opening Day Pitcher

Thomas Michael Glavine
Bats Left, Throws Left Height 6' 1", Weight 190 lb
Born March 25, 1966 in Concord, MA
Former Brave behind enemy lines
Likes: Ice hockey, $42.5 million contracts
Dislikes: Taxicabs, Questec, Roger Cedeno's defense






APPROVED NICKS:

Tom(ahawk) Chop
Toothless Tom
Agent Glavine
Batting Practice Guy
Glavoline Havoline Oil
Mr. "Not Devastated"

petition commissioner for your own favorites in the comments section

Oliver Perez, soon to be former Met

Oliver (Martinez) Perez
Born August 15, 1981 in Culiacan, Sinaloa, Mexico
Bats Left, Throws Left Height 6' 3", Weight 160 lb.
2006-
Role: Organization savior? Organizational folly?



"Mmmmm....Tastes like Cy Young"



Approved Nicks:
Oh-Pea
Doh' Pee
Opie
OPP
Oliver "Down with OPP" Perez
Senor Sabor

Chan Ho Park, former Mets minor leaguer, could be on Dodgers right now, but no one really knows

Chan Ho Park
Born June 30, 1973 in Kongju, South Korea
Bats Right, Throws Right Height 6' 2", Weight 185 lb.
Not really a Met, but feet are registered weapons





APPROVED NICKS:

Chan Ho Parkinglot
Chan "Oh-No" Park
Chan "Walks the" Park
"Jackie" Chan Ho Park (after getting himself out of tight situation)
Chan Ho "No-No" (after pitching Mets first no-hitter)
Chan "Bo" Park (after taking up football and ruining hips)
Chan "Pimps up, Ho's down" Park
Chan Ho "South" Park
Chan Ho "Paaak" (Boston pronunciation)
Chan "Hoser, eh" Park (Canadian pronunciation)
Chan "Show Down for the 'Ho' Down" Park
Chan "I Wanna be a " Ho Park

Julio Franco, former Met, deceased?

Julio Franco, as the oldest living human being, oldest living athelete, and oldest living New York Met, seems a good place to start.

Bats Right, Throws Right Height 6' 0", Weight 165 lb.
Born: August 23, 1858



APPROVED NICKNAMES:

"Francostein"
"Undead"
"Father time"
Dirt
Moses
Waste-of-roster-space
Old Man River


Feel free to use the comments section to petition for additional names.

Gerald Williams former Met

Bats Right, Throws Right Height 6' 2", Weight 190 lb.
Born: August 10, 1966
Known For: Sucking, Taking up bench space



APPROVED NICKNAMES

"Ice"

The Office of the (Deposed) MLB Commisioner invites fans to petition for their favorite nicknames in the comments section.