Moises Alou, whereabouts unknown

Moises Alou
(usually pronounced /ˈmɔɪ̪zɨs əˈluː/ in English, and /moiˈses alˈou/ in Spanish, "Wasted Cash" in Metsfan)
July 3, 1866 in Atlanta, Georgia
Accomplishments: can't remember what he did, (neither can he) but Omar Minaya is counting on him to do it again

Read this and try not to cry:
Announcing another $8 million or so down the drain:
November 21, 2006
The 40-year-old slugger finalized an $8.5 million, one-year contract on Monday with the NL East champions, who also declined their $14 million option on left-hander Tom Glavine and swapped young pitchers with the Florida Marlins in a four-player trade.

Alou's deal includes a $7.5 million club option for 2008 with $1 million buyout. The six-time All-Star, who gets a $7.5 million salary next season, said he turned down two-year offers from other teams to join the Mets.

"The length of my contract doesn't really matter at this point in my career," Alou said. "I wanted to come here because this year -- I wanted to win this year."

"I hope this new shawl will protect me from drafts."

APPROVED NICKS:

Grandpa Moises
Moises "You say goodbye, I say" Alou
Moises Alouser (courtesy of Cub fans)